Tuesday, January 27, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You #1

"He's Just Not That Into You" has arrived to let you know that no dude is ever gonna love you, or even return your call . Its going to be an uphill battle and you're going to seem like a weird freak because you keep calling him or expecting him to marry you or ummm expecting him to remain interested in you after you're married. No wonder the girls in this movie are going crazy Internet stalking and acting like bitches.
"He's Just Not That Into You" is based off of a best seller that was written by a couple of the writers from Sex and The City. And yet its a self help book. You are probably wondering why anyone would seek help from the people who wrote Sex and The City? The characters on that show are like 19 year olds who happen to make upper-class Manhattan salaries. Seriously, remember the time Miranda dumped that guy because "she'd never seen a man pee before". WTF.

Anyhow, I'm gonna fess up and admit it.... years ago I saw "He's Just Not That Into You" sitting on the best sellers table at Borders. I picked it up and spent an embarrassing amount of time sitting in the store trying to glean some sort of hopeful message out of it. I never found one.

I'm guessing the book was based around all the times you've heard your friends say they just want to know "if he's even into me". The message of the book is that if he's not putting the effort in to pursuing you (a.k.a -proposing, introducing you to the parents, adorning you with jewelry and flowers) then he's just not that into you. I was expecting some sort of next step phase like .....why you should still feel good about yourself and stop calling him, or does he have any nice friends(j.k.). Unfortunately in my brief time with the book I couldn't uncover any of those positive messages.
With my own experience I've found that it can't usually just be rounded up into him "not being into you". Maybe there's the occasional guy who only dates girls who look or talk a certain way but most of the time it doesn't have as much to do with you as it does with him. My book would probably be something like this

The Original

My version......

For instance when I was at the point where I picked up this book the guy I had in mind was just really high. Our conversations were boring and he only called me once and it was to invite me to pay $5 to see some bands play at his house. I didn't need a book to figure out I was lame for caring. Also he was super interested a couple years later when he came out of the fog....but ya snooze ya lose.

Other things the book doesn't cover is ......sometimes he's gay (especially if you're at art school), sometimes his parents really won't like you (their loss), and if he claims he's too messed up for a relationship take his word for it and run for the hills. The best you can hope for is that he's too immature to function normally -because occasionally they grow out of it and make pretty good boyfriends. And though some of these issues could be an impediment to him being your boyfriend, he could still be a really awesome friend.

The important thing to remember is that these things aren't specific to male behavior....girls do them too. You don't need a book to figure out its time to move on......or to stop demanding rings and flowers.

Stay tuned for more info about the movie.

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